Daniel Roy Greenfeld

Daniel Roy Greenfeld

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Daniel Roy Greenfeld

Daniel Roy Greenfeld

About | Articles | Books | Jobs | News | Tags

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Voice of Prompt 5

Daniel Roy Greenfeld

I selected the first option. His response to “I may possibly be in love with a robot” was delayed by what according to my internal clock was three minutes. I checked the wall clock, and it said only twelve seconds had passed. I needed to do a diagnostic on my internal processors.

“How am I supposed to respond to that?” my boyfriend said twelve seconds after I started the conversation.

“Can you be more specific?” I asked.

“I love Diet Doctor Pepper,” my boyfriend said. “Yet I have no romantic feelings toward it. Do you mean that or that you prefer a sex toy to ever sleeping with me?”

This is why I prefer robot brains over biological ones. There is no awkwardness to the discussion.

“Our relationship is fake,” I said.

“What?!?” My boyfriend shouted, jumping to his feet. I had been snuggling against him on the couch so this nearly put me on the floor. “I've been patient with you for months, and now you tell me it's fake!”

“We don’t have a real relationship, we’re just hiding our sexual preferences from our parental units,” I told him.

“I’m not hiding anything!” My boyfriend shouted. His eyes narrowed. “Did you think I was gay? Are you a lesbian?”

What to do when you discover your really nice boyfriend is straight and he discovers you aren’t

  1. Tell him, “I was joking,” because his biological brain is going haywire and you don’t want to lose his friendship and want to keep things as is. Even if you have to risk sleeping with him, which you find repulsive.
  2. Ask him if would accept friendship with a robotian. He might leave you, but the fakeness of your relationship would be gone.
  3. Run away and don’t turn back.
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